Skill with people is most rewarding and important of all human talents. It determines the quality of your business life, family life, social and also personal life. The detail described in this part will greatly help you to increase your skill with people.
People are more off interested in themselves, not in you: –
You being yourself are particularly interested in yourself than you are in any other person in the world.
Human being action is governed by self-thought, self-interest. So it is a key of life for you to realize that people are primarily interested in themselves and not in you.
When you talk of people about themselves, you are rubbing them the right way; you are working with human nature.
Human nature always interested for self. You talk about yourself, your disturbed their though pattern.
So when talking to others, talk about them. And get them talking about themselves.
You can becomes a good and interesting conversationalist by other involving in the discussion.
Makes people to feel important: –
The most universal trait of mankind, is the desire to be important, the desire to be recognized. Nobody wants to be treated as a nobody and when they are ignored or talked down to, they are being treated as just that. Some of the tips to make people feel important are:
Listening properly to people is just about the best way of making them feel important.
Applaud and compliment to people, when they deserve it.
Use his or her names as you meet someone and Use words “you” and “your” during conversation. Attend everyone in-group conversation.
Acknowledge people who are waiting for you.
Making peoples’ Mind: –
There are several techniques and methods, which greatly increase the chances of, people saying “yes” to them. Some important point for this is:
Everything in this world is done for a reason. So when you want somebody to do something, give them a reason why they should do it. The reason should be based for their advantage and benefit.
When you are trying to get people to say “yes” to you, first get them into a “yes” frame of mind. This is done by asking them two or three “yes” question.
When you discuss something with someone, give a choice of two option. This simply means getting people to choose between saying yes to you one way or saying yes to you another way. Either way they choose they are saying yes to you.
This method won’t work every time but it will work a good deal of the time and it will work far better than giving people a choice between saying yes and no.
Expect people to say, “yes” to you. When you expect yes, it shows your confidence. Let the other people to know, that they are expected to say yes.
Most of people are in low state during start, but with people skills discussion can be let.
Many never doubt what you want, once you let them know it is expected of them.
Set Peoples’ Moods: –
You can make most of people courteous, cooperative and friendly in 1 second. Use following point as you meet to someone:
First few seconds of any relationship are important and sets the tone of discussion and decide how discussion will move on and close. Secondly people strongly tend to respond in kind of the behavior of other people.
When you enter somewhere and establish eye contact, break the silence, GIVE PEOPLE YOUR SINCERE SMILE, people respond the way they are treated.
So set the atmosphere the mood, the stage as you like.
Your tone of voice and facial expression is important, too, for they reveal your inner thoughts.
Don’t forget to start your smile the same way the professional entertainers and models do. By saying this one word to yourself—-
It works! .
Making a Good Impression: –
Handsome is as handsome does.
You want others to think about you, with admiration and respect, give them impression that you expect that rating. This is done to put your value by yourself .
Be proud of yourself, of who you are, of what you do, of where you work. You are what you represent; handle yourself with pride and respect.
The points, which you should consider for good impression, are:
Be sincere with your words. Say only things which you mean and believe that things.
Show your enthusiasm on what you are doing. It is contagious.
In dealing with the people, avoid seeming overanxious. Over anxiety starts people wondering and gives them doubts.
Stand on your merits, never try to make yourself good by underlying other people.
If you can’t say something good, say nothing. Be shrewd, be smooth.
Art of Convincing: –
It a nature of human being for other individuals to be skeptical of you and of what you say when you are saying things that are to your own advantage.
You can eliminate much of this skepticism when you make self-serving statement by going at it in a different way.
That better way is for you not to make the statement directly but to quote somebody. Let somebody else make the statement for you, even if that somebody else isn’t even present. So speak through third person, quote people, relate success stories, and statistics.
Art of Being Agreeable: –
People like to those who agree with them. As long as you live, never forget that any fool can disagree with people and that it takes a wise man or big man to agree, when other person is wrong. Agree with people as described below:
Be a naturally agreeable person. Develop an agreement nature.
Tell the people with words like “I agree with you”, when you agree with them.
The poorest technique known in human relation in arguing. Even if you are right, don’t argue.
When you made a mistake, admit or apologize for it.
Don’t tell people when you disagree with them unless it is necessary.
Handle fighter proper. They want to fight. Refuse to fight with them, they will sputter and look silly.
Art of listening: –
The more patiently you listen, the smarter conversationalist you become. The things, which help you for becoming a good listener, are described below: –
Look at the person who is talking and intently listen the person.
Ask question, where you feel doubt about something.
Stick to speaker’s subject and don’t interrupt
Art of Praising: –
Man needs food for the spirit as well as for the body. Remember how you feel or how your whole day brightened up with a kind word or compliment. And how long its feeling lasts?
So be generous with other people. Look for somebody and something to praise and do it. Consider following points when you praise to someone:
The praise must be sincere.
Praise the act, not the person. Make the praise specific-pinpoint it
Make your habit of saying daily one kind word to at least three people. Then see how YOU feel or having done so! This is happiness formula for YOU!
Art of Criticizing: –
The key to successful critiques lies in the spirit of the critiques.
If you criticize someone for change, for some results, you are accomplishing much with your critique if you go at it in the right way. Some important points, which should consider when you criticize someone, are:
It should be made in privacy.
Criticize the act, not the person. Give reason for criticizing.
Criticize by making a friendly atmosphere.
Ask for the cooperation – don’t demand it.
Best way to criticize is criticize once only.
Finish the criticism on a friendly note.
This is most important point of criticism.
Art of Thanking: –
If you are grateful to people and if you let those people know you are grateful, almost always they will give you more the next time. Art of saying thanks include:
Be sincere when you thank people. People know when you are genuinely appreciative.
Say it clearly and distinctly by making eye contact with people you thank.
Personalize your thanks by name. It makes a lot difference.
Art of Talking: –
Some important points, which makes you good speaker, are described here:
Know exactly what you want to speak, speak with knowledge, authority and confidence.
Be clear, discuss in detail, to the point.
Be natural, be yourself.
Look at the audience while you talk.
Talk about the topic what the audience is interested in.
Art of Influencing: –
The important step is getting people to do what you want them to do is to find out what will make them do it. When you know what will move them, you then know how to move them. Find out what they are after, what they like.
This is the big secret of influencing people. It means hitting the target with what you say but naturally you must know where the target is.
This method include of finding out what people want is by asking, watching and listening to them. Plus the effort on your part to find out.